i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
