i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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