we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
