Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
