i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
