Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The power of my boobs compel you
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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