I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
only you would photoshop your dick
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
