Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I think people are normalizing furries
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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