Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
