Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
