Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i think im in europe. pls send help
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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