We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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