It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
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