She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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