Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
