Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
