I love black thongs
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
