I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
