You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
