So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
MIDGETS
????
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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