So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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