Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I need a beard to bite.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
