If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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