Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
