do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
