Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
