remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
