I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
