just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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