thus making me awesome and them whores
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
