it's not cheating when I paid for it
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
