Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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