i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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