Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
