Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
