At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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