Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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