your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
