oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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