when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
