Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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