i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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