If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
