i can't believe i had my finger in that
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
