i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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