Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
