you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
