why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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