ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
