Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
