There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
