Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
