I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
