I hate your face
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
