I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
