so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
