so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
