I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
