After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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