I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
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