forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
