i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
