Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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