i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
this boner is exhausting
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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