It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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