So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She's the barista slut.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
