How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Be still, my beating vagina.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
