all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
