in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
