so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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