Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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