do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
