Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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