You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
be right there i have to get my cape
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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