Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
