found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
