found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
home. puking in laundry basket.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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