I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
