i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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