thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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