Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
