i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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