Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize